The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

I had wanted to see Human Centipede since I figured out the preview/trailer wasn’t a joke. Seriously, the drawing by the doctor as to what he’s trying to create is 1st-grade-art-class level stuff. Doctor sews three people together – there’s the plot. Alright, there’s a little more to it…

Two girls are touring Europe by themselves. They meet a bartender who has invited them to a party. The girls get lost on the way and end up at this crazy doctor’s house. The doctor drugs them and when they wake up, they’re restrained and about to be used in an experiment. See, the good doctor here is the world’s foremost expert in separating Siamese twins. Now that he’s retired, he wants to CREATE, rather than separate. He has already done one successful such experiment on his three pet rottweilers. Now, he wants to make a HUMAN centipede.

The doctor captures another tourist and through a series of events, which are explained in detail by the doctor in some sort of creepy medical lesson, the two girls and guy are surgically attached. When I say surgically attached, I mean lengthwise. Their intestinal track is now one long stitched-together tube. Here, I’ll be more clear: ass to mouth, then ass to mouth again.

Just let that sink in for a second.

Now let it sink in what happens after the front person eats a meal.

The final scene is something that sticks with you a bit. Nothing gruesome or horrific – just more empathetically saddening. You know what I’m talking about: like when your face is attached to some guy’s butt and the person behind you is stuck to your butt, and … wait… let’s hope that whole thing doesn’t happen. You’ll think (maybe out loud), “Wow. I hope that doesn’t happen to me.”

The movie is well-acted and well shot, especially the music, lighting, and filters used in the scenes. The doctor was casted PERFECTLY and his part is carried out flawlessly. The guy is amazing at this role. The movie does have some suspenseful parts where one of the girls briefly escapes and then again when the centipede disappears for a short while. But all in all, it really isn’t that “scary”. Yes, it is gross and very detailed about how the attachment is performed. But this film isn’t going to give you nightmares, it isn’t going to make you hear things around corners that aren’t there, and it isn’t going to make you have to turn on all the lights in your house. The gross factor is something you can get over pretty easily in the movie. Basically, it’s a horrific concept and my compliments go out to the person who thought of this movie. However, it didn’t engage me very well nor put the slightest bit of fear in my head. Bummer.

I’m unsure how they’re going to make a sequel to this one called The Human Centipede (Full Sequence), but word on the street is that it’s going to happen. With more people sewn together. Ass to mouth. And yes, I’ll probably see it.

Note: My nephew – in med school – says this concept is completely impossible. To which I argued the packaging of the DVD states “100% Medically Accurate!!!” Boxes don’t lie. My nephew just shook his head.