Absolution

Homemade shoot 'em up movie shot in Chicago/St. Louis. All kinds of non-sets like hotel rooms, in front of skyscrapers, in basements, in parks, in traffic, in mom's living room, friends apartments, and any other cost-efficient locations. It's all bad acting, all missing microphones, all mispronunciation-laden, all various accents by the same actors, all terrible garage band soundtrack, all sub-par post-production. The hilarious thing is that the bad guy in the film looks a LOT like Blagojevich. Hilariously apropos shady deals in Chicago. They also do this hilarious black and white grainy security cam for some shots. Seriously? It doesn't have to be sent to Lucas films, but there are companies who specialize in cleaning up you slop. Then there's a random female narrator who's reading some poem or something about heaven and earth and god and glory and gateways and blah blah blah. Why is this even here? Oh because it's taking about angels taking human form while showing sky diving stock footage. Then slow motion footage of a girl snorting coke and then smoking a cigarette. You could take those two pieces out and save yourself 10 minutes. Random scene change again – random fat guy is shooting a porn in his basement. There's a hilarious gameplan/pep talk meeting before the scene is shot. I was cracking up. There are also a lot of phone conversations with banks making large electronic funds transfers. I've never done that in my life, so I'm not sure if they thought they were bring avant garde or if I'm so far out of the loop when it comes to drug deals and hired guns. Also word of warning: never go to a doctor who is going bald and has a metal-mullet in a pony tail and has his glasses on the top of his head. Not believable, sorry, morons. Don't watch this movie EVER.

Hilarious Followup: Here is the plot summary from IMDB. It's so far from what I wrote it's pathetic. Hey if you're going to film a movie with a backstory, then tell your audience what the back story actually is. "An angel descends to Earth - intending to learn what it is like to live as a human being. While on Earth, this spirit becomes involved in terrorism, drug deals, and pornography. Chemicals used in a new super-bomb are to be melted down in VHS tape shells and secretly shipped out of the U.S. as part of a porn film deal. Overseas, the porno tapes will be melted down again so that the chemicals can be extracted and used for mass destruction. The angel wants to stop these evils, though it is the law of the angels to not interfere in human history. The angel jumps from one human host to another, sinking deeper and deeper into the nightmare, becoming more involved. The angel begins to feel the darkest of human emotions: fear... anger... hate... and it all leads to bloodshed, depravity, and intense violence."