Cheeky

You HAVE to love Italian films. They just put it right out there – nakedness everywhere. The opening credits even have them and it's not just boobs, either, they go "downtown" as well. So here's the plot (I don't even know why I'm telling this part) – A girl tries to find a bigger apartment since her Italian boyfriend is going to move in with here when he arrives in London. She goes into a real estate agent and the lady basically shoves her hand into the girls cratch. The girl plays hard to get, but apparently in Italy, NO never means no – in fact it's expected to put up a fight. Shirts come off all the time and no one wears panties. So here's some highlights of the film. When Italian guys talk about the devil, they throw up the metal horns ..m/ like RJD. Daisy dukes can be cut higher than your thigh – and making you look extra trashy. All Italian men have huge fake penises (probably not the case, but Hollywood-Italy-style won't let them show the real thing. You can go over to your girlfriends house and her father will invite you to go through her underwear drawer. It's customary to remove your panties when facing a gondolier driving the boat. Italian film directors film more camel toes than Arab directors. All women touch and pet each other in London bathhouses. Random strangers are allowed to lift girls' skirts and insert digits in Italy. A quick cratch-wash and you're ready to go to a party in Italy. At least 12 women will line up on couches at a party, bent over with their skirts up – and it's perfectly normal. Women in college classrooms in Italy all sit with their legs spread and wear no, or see through, underwear. When sleeping naked, it's advisable to put on your sluttiest high heels and nothing else when you answer the door. Old men will masturbate if they watch strangers doing it in nature. Sand caked into a girl's cratch is not a deterrent to either tongue nor jansen when the mood strikes you. Italian men like to watch their wives bang other guys. Women jog in the park in thong leotards. I'm moving to Italy.