For Your Height Only

I don't even know where to start with this movie. Agent Double O is a tiny man of some sort with a bald spot and a greasy mullet from Malaysia. Overdubbed voices and terrible action make this an awesome movie. Midget guy pushes a whore out of a way of a bullet. He then helps her take on a couple of bad people. She ends up whipping Wayne Newton's ass. The tiny guy slides across the floor on his back and hits his head hard on the wall (a little bit of overslide), and it doesn't look intentional. Ha Ha Ha. Then his boss gives him a whole TON of random spy weapons and gadgets. Special tiny gun with tiny silencer, and tiny clip. Special tiny hat with a blade in it. Special tiny blowgun pen. Special tiny gadget belt. Special poison detecting gold ring (not platinum – there's budget cuts you know). Special tiny x-ray glasses that let him see girls naked. The little guy is a kung fu wizard. Flips over and under people and swings down random zip lines at the county fair (does Malaysia have counties?) The only thing not midget sized on this guy are his nipples. Ha ha ha. His overdubbed voice changes like 5 times. The bad guys all talk like jimmy stewart and oddly, the voice kind of matches their mouths and facial expressions so it works. The whore said, "You're very petite, like a potato." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?! The bad guys call him a one man army. Wurd to Pro-Pain. Speaking of that. The music goes back and forth from being a really good impression of James Bond music and then crazy bad pep band music. The little guy does hilarious stunts (and there isn't a stunt double that looks like him, sorry. He jumps off of crazy things, slides all over the floor (I know Coach loves the sliding antagonist). Then he hops into bed and plants one on this lady in a hotel bed. Clearly, she was not ready for it (in her real life). Then he jumps off the balcony with an umbrella and the fake dummy body is flying all over the place until he lands on the top of a jeep on the street below. And then we find out his x-ray glasses see through guys' clothes as well. Bad guy says, "So this is how you communicate with your little wang." Ha ha ha. Bad guys can feel confident in their manhood and still wear neck scarves. The tiny gun takes half an hour to put together, but is worth it in the end. Apparently he shoots better from the horizontal position, so when greater accuracy is needed, he will throw himself onto his back from a standing position and take the shot. Also, you can't be a secret agent if you introduce your self as "Secret Agent Double-O." Then Tina Turner picks 00 up while he's hitchhiking. Then the good guys showed on the map where the hidden island is – classic.